News II: Profile Piece

This is probably the most fun piece I wrote throughout the semester, allowing me to use lots of creativity. I know there are a lot of areas to improve (including the end, which I am still working on), but here it is for now!

Mike Guns: A Comedian Sharp Shooter
He’s Funny Whether You Like It or Not
By: Kelly Martin

The day had finally come – it was Mike Gunsiorowski’s first comedy class at the Funny Bone, in Newport, Kentucky. Trying to keep his composure, Mike waited anxiously for people in his comedy class to begin introducing themselves. Beads of sweat covered his entire body, as if he just ran a marathon outside in the sweltering heat. Sitting next to his friend Alex was his only comfort, as he did not know anyone else in the room. Looking around at everyone, he wondered what he would say when his turn came to introduce himself. What could possibly be interesting about me? he wondered.

When it finally came his turn, Mike stood up and delivered—everyone applauded him with laughter. One of the first reactions came from his friend Alex.

“Man, I have never seen you that confident aside from when you’re drunk,” Alex said.

It certainly was a sobering experience for Mike, with or without alcohol. He felt the beads of sweat start to disappear as he breathed a sigh of relief. As his nervousness faded, so did some doubt he had about himself in the comedy show business field.

Mike Gunsiorowski, a unique stand up comedian, finally feels comfortable at where he is in life. After dropping out of the University of Louisville due to bad grades, he now has a driving yet challenging force in his life – that of comedy show business.

Not knowing what to do with himself with not being in school, Mike endlessly flipped through television channels. There was always one channel that caught his interest – comedy central. Mike and his friends started watching comedians perform and constantly made fun of them. Just like that, it dawned on him – he wanted to be that comedian on stage. Little did he know, he was going to soon realize it is much easier to make fun of a comedian than to be a comedian.

On Feb. 7, 2006, Mike was to take the stage for the very first time in Lexington at Comedy Off Broadway. Backstage before the show, he paced back and forth, scribbling notes on his outline like a mad scientist. He crossed out this, edited that. He pumped his fist in the air, ready to take the stage—or so he thought. He frantically added more notes on his paper. Ok, he thought, now I’m ready. Mike went out on stage, and instantly saw comedian and friend Mat Stanton out in the audience and smiled. His head was now lifted a little higher. All the sudden, though, the stage’s lights seemed to be suffocating Mike. His hands started to shake, sweat started to form, and before he knew it, his act was over. What just happened? Mike thought to himself.

“It was like a blur. It was like I had a repressed memory and didn’t want to remember what I said,” Mike recalled.

Still in a haze, Mike walked to a table near the bar with other comedians. “Write your stuff on your hand next time,” a comedian told him afterwards. Mike realized, though, that he just needed to rehearse. After the whole event was over, Mat patted Mike on the back, saying, “Sometimes people like it, and sometimes they don’t. Just stick with it.”

About a month later, he made his second on-stage appearance at the same place. He showed his ability to bounce back by joking about his last visit.

“The last time I was here, I blacked out, although I’m sure everyone in the audience wished they did instead,” Mike said.

I guess Mike became aware of one way to stop talking – get in front of a crowd for the very first time.

“Comedy is something that takes a lot of time to master. In comedy, you need to find your voice as a writer and a performer,” Mat said.

Mike found out that it certainly does take time to find his voice in comedy. In February of 2007, Mike sat alone backstage at NKU’s Greaves Hall, waiting for the Apollo Night show to start. His eyes were glued to his paper, only pretending to be glancing over his material one last time; he wouldn’t look up to anybody. After what seemed like days, he finally heard his name get called. “Give it up for Mike Gunsiorowski,” the MC exclaimed. Strutting proudly out on the stage, Mike moved a piano out of the way so he could maneuver easier. “Mike Gunsiorowski! Come on out!” the MC shouted again. Mike stared at the MC to infer that he, indeed, was the next comedic act. Looking at his rugged, worn clothing Mike was wearing, the MC confusedly accepted the fact that he was to perform next.

Brent Smalley, a comedian and friend of Mike’s, said that since his looks are really original, most people wouldn’t think he was a comedian. Brent also added, “He has such a dry and monotone voice, also.”

Mike still put on a smile as he began his first joke, thinking that he would do well. Suddenly, the audience began booing when he was still building up his story. “It seemed like I got booed off stage before I even started,” Mike said. “I remember I said how I like Bugs Bunny, and it only got worse from there.” Not knowing exactly why he got booed, Mike ended his act about a minute later. Maybe the audience didn’t like his style of wearing old clothes. Maybe they weren’t in the mood for Bugs Bunny. Whatever the reason, it would make him wonder if comedy was cut out for him.

“Just stick with it,” Mat Stanton reassured Mike.

Apparently the crowd didn’t like Bugs Bunny as much as he did, but that didn’t stop him from continuing on with his shows.
Besides, perhaps he’d find a crowd more interested in the carrot-eating friend.

In the summer of 2007, Mike was to perform at the upscale and classy Wine Cellar, in Mt. Adams. When he arrived, he scanned the crowd – they were mostly old, upper class people.

“I knew the people there wouldn’t like me, but I didn’t care,” Mike said. “I was just going to go out there and piss them off.”

Walking over to the bartender, he asked for a glass of wine.

He would’ve preferred to have a beer, but being at a wine cellar made it a little more difficult.
Stepping on the stage, with his nose tilted in the air just like the audience, he took a small drink of his wine. “Just to let you know, I won’t leave the stage until I’m done with my drink,” he said pompously. The audience seemed to not like that, nor did they like how he talked about George Bush.

And that’s the way Mike liked it.

“The great thing about Mike is he will blatantly try to make people mad,” Brent said.

Even though Mike didn’t care that the crowd wouldn’t like him, he still got a very familiar result– negative reaction with a crowd.

As Mike drove home that night, he couldn’t help but hear that one, calming voice in his head.
“Just stick with it,” Mat Stanton comforted Mike.

“Mike was always smart and I think comics are some of the smartest people around. You can never pick out a comic in the crowd and that is what makes them sospecial,” Mat said about Mike.

Mike now knows to take the good in with the bad, and that each show is not going to go perfectly. He just recently had an audition to be an MC at Wiley’s in Dayton, Ohio, where he got a good response from the crowd – but didn’t get the part. Driving home, he started wondering why he is even in comedy at all; it seems as if he is just stuck and not moving forward in it. If I can’t even be an MC, the lowest level of comedians, then what can I be? He thought to himself.
Even though Mike still doubts himself from time to time, he always thinks of Mat’s advice to not give up; to stick with it.

“Mike is growing as a person because he is starting to look at life in a different perspective. His mind is opening up to new things and he is becoming a wiserperson because of it,” Mat Stanton said about him.

Brent told me how Mike’s last name actually helped form his popular nickname, ‘Guns.’ At the end of most shows, Mike said, “My name is Mike Guns, and you just got banged.”